I borrow these five steps from Love & Logic by Charles and Jim Fay. I plan to attend a live seminar in March. http://www.loveandlogic.com/classes.aspx
1. Show Empathy for the person / child who finds themselves in a predicament
2. Transfer the problem back by asking, "Do you want to know what other people / children have tried?
3. Offer ideas. (Bad ones first); wait for the person to analyse your suggestions and agree or disagree. This enhances confidence.
4. Force the person to analyse the consequences of his final choice by asking "How will that work out?" If he says, "I don't know.", then apply empathy by saying something like, "That is sad not to know.
5. Finally, say with empathy, "Good Luck. Hope it works out."