Being Thankful at Thanksgiving & Thinking of others at Christmas

I love the fall and the beautiful colors, the cool breezes, the crunch of leaves under my feet. The leaves make a cacophony of sound, their own little symphony. I enjoy carving pumpkins each year, a family tradition! Fun! Loving, Peaceful times make us appreciate each other more.

I am grateful for family, friends, and work associates. Grateful for a warm house as the weather gets cooler. I could go on forever with a list of things I am happy to have in my life. I am especially grateful to the Savior, Jesus Christ, who suffered and died for me and for all mankind. All who embrace him and call on his name can be saved, as they turn their hears to Him. I know that the Holiday of Thanksgiving is important and then Christmas comes so quick! I just read something I wrote four Christmas's ago. I share it with you here: Christmas Eve 2013

We opened gifts early this year at Audrey and Logan’s new home in Sandy, UT. I had second thoughts about my gift to my son Richard and his wife Tania, which was a goat for a needy family in their honor – through Feed the Children non-profit. I know it was an unusual gift, one that would keep on giving to another family far away. I wondered if instead, it might have been more fitting to get a gift card to Nordstrom’s. I talked to Abby about that as we drove to the airport early this morning. She assured me my gift was fine and I told her that two weeks prior, I had actually forgot about purchasing the goat, and then had a dream in which a young boy and his family in humble surroundings were in need of said goat. They seemed very real to me and so I knew I had to get that goat ordered! I thought thinking of others less fortunate would be a lesson in humility for my children and grandchildren. After returning home from the airport, I decided to sup from the Lord’s words before beginning my tasks. Since its Christmas, I chose to read from the Book of Luke. I silently prayed and was drawn to Luke 14. As you read the following verses you will see God was ‘seconding’ Abby’s affirmation that my gift was good. Jesus taught the Pharisees with the following parable:

8 When thou art bidden of any man to a wedding, sit not down in the highest room; lest a more honourable man than thou be bidden of him;

9 And he that bade thee and him come and say to thee, Give this man place; and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room.

10 But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher: then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at meat with thee.

11 For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

12 ¶Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, or thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee.

13 But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind:

14 And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just.

In the above verses, The Lord is saying I will be blessed for helping those less fortunate. They do not have the means to repay me, but I am sure the family that received the goat is rejoicing. They most likely have a feeling of goodwill in their hearts towards men knowing that someone they do not know was willing to bless their lives. Matthew 10:37  "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." To me this means we are to see the bigger picture and go with what God wants for us all, and serve one another to the best of our ability. We need to learn to be thoughtful and caring and realize we are all connected.
Merry Christmas – and as Tiny Tim said, God Bless us everyone!

"The Pot calling the Kettle Black"

I am called upon to teach classes and lead groups in discussions. The students have been ordered to take my classes by the court system. Nevertheless, they chose to be compliant and attend. Often times, there is someone who will want to talk about other people’s short comings, rather than focus on what caused the trouble that brought them to my class.
One time, when beginning a Prime For Life Class (a DUI course about drugs, alcohol and the path to addiction), a student asked in a voice of defiance, “Well, what about texting? That causes accidents!” “True, it does”, I responded and then asked, “And your point is?” The class was silent for a moment, and then another student in the back said loud enough for all to hear, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Another blamed “the system” for young people repeatedly getting into trouble with the law. He said adamantly, “It’s the system!”. This student talked about young men who had worked for him, who could not pay court fines, and subsequently went to jail, learned more ways to commit crimes, and then had more court cases and more fines. I asked, “Who chose to break the law in the first place? Are the young men not to be held accountable for their actions?”

In another setting, a student talked about neighbors who profess to be Christians, yet indulge in sexual promiscuity. This student’s rhetoric put the focus on others’ misdeeds.
It is easier to point the finger at others than direct it towards ourselves.
(When I teach in a secular setting, I teach only that which is allowed, keeping Church & State separate, but for this blog, I am expressing my own personal belief system in a God)

The following is from the Bible (King James Version)
Matthew 7:3-5
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

The ancient teachings of Jesus lead us to understand human nature, that we tend to look at other’s faults rather than our own. We also may blame circumstances, or the “system”.
How is it that some people know how to be successful and happy within the guidelines of the law and others do not? Or is it that some are taught true principles, but choose to do something else, listen to another voice that is not in their highest and best. Perhaps they choose to listen to promptings of greed, envy, gluttony, lust and fear. Soon, the whisperings of the “Still Small Voice” of goodness and virtue are no longer heard, drowned out by the “Get yours first” voice that prompts evil intentions and selfish behavior. When my thoughts lead to selfish actions or even addiction, I endanger my relationships and other responsibilities.
What is missing? Is there some internal mechanism, like the spring to a clock that keeps it working? That internal dialogue that says, “no, I am not going to do that” or “This is the direction my life needs to go”.
The wonderful thing about life is that we all have free-agency. We only lose that right to choose when we break the laws of the land and endanger self or others.
It is exciting that I get to choose who I will BE. I need to learn what it is I want to be and what consequences or rewards there are for certain ways of thinking and behaving. I need to know how to be and what that feels like and looks like to be able to incorporate it into my life. As a Christian, my goal is to be Christ-like in my behavior. If I am truly Christ-like, I will be humble, penitent and look to my own shortcomings and pray for strength to overcome them. Prayer is a gateway to learn from my Heavenly Father.
I learn from the Bible about what Christ was like and how to follow him. I also learn from the words of a Prophet of the Lord, Thomas S. Monson
“Essential to the plan is our Savior, Jesus Christ. Without His atoning sacrifice, all would be lost. It is not enough, however, merely to believe in Him and His mission. We need to work and learn, search and pray, repent and improve. We need to know God’s laws and live them. We need to receive His saving ordinances. Only by so doing will we obtain true, eternal happiness.” 1
1. From the General Conference Address entitled, the-perfect-path-to-happiness?lang=eng">“The perfect Plan to Happiness” October 2016

Our seed

I am talking about children and in my case, also my grandchildren and so on and so on. After I am gone, there may be many generations to come after me. it is an astounding thought. I am hoping that all of my "seed" will come to Christ and know him. Nephi is explaining to his older brothers what Lehi was telling by way of parable, saying that branches of of the olive tree shall be grafted in. 1 Nephi 15:14 "And at that day shall the remnant of our seed know that they are of the house of Israel, and that they are the covenant people of the Lord; and then shall they know and come to the knowledge of their forefathers, and also to the knowledge of the gospel of their Redeemer, which was ministered unto their fathers by him; wherefore, they shall come to the knowledge of their Redeemer and the very points of his doctrine, that they may know how to come unto him and be saved." I pray for my loved ones who do not yet know Christ as their redeemer. The quote above is found in the Book of Mormon, which I am studying now in an institute class and loving it (https://pathway.lds.org/). The spirit fills my heart and soul as I read, testifying to me of the truth of Nephi's words. I pray that you may read and also be touched as you search, ponder and pray to know if these things are true. Moroni gives us a promise in Moroni 10:3 "Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts. 4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. 5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. 6 And whatsoever thing is good is just and true; wherefore, nothing that is good denieth the Christ, but acknowledgeth that he is. 7 And ye may know that he is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore I would exhort you that ye deny not the power of God; for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow, and forever. I add my "Amen".

How could you not be happy when you see....

I was shopping the other day and the young woman at the checkout admired my fire opal ring and said, "That is a beautiful ring! It makes me happy just to look at it. How could a person look at that and not be happy?" I thought that was an interesting comment. I reflected on a visit I had with a good friend, Gary Whitley. He reminded me that all I needed to maintain my centered-ness, was to think on Christ. I thought how fitting that was for the Christmas Season and every "season" of life, really. You know, as I focus on Jesus Christ, a smile comes to my face. It is natural - I can't help it! How can someone look at Christ and not feel Happy! How can someone think of Jesus Christ, our elder brother who saved us, and not smile and be happy! For a moment, I wished it was an continual automatic response with me to be always be happy and not be annoyed with others or the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season; but as I prayed about it and asked God if he could wipe away any of resistance or struggle (Just change me!), God said, "No, You get to CHOOSE". "I get to choose" is a powerful statement. It means I take an active part in my creation, as I grow into my most magnificent self! It means I am free to choose darkness or light, deceptiveness or truth, sadness or happiness. Jesus said, The truth shall set you free. I want to be free of the trappings, misconceptions, and unhappiness that Satan promulgates. My body is my temple and a gift from God, our Father. My body is my "house" and as for me and "my house", will serve the Lord. Actually, "We will serve the Lord", as I am strengthened and not alone in my choice. God the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost are supporting me daily as I CHOOSE the right. I am happy when I recall and meditate on a line from a simple song I learned in church as a child: "I know my Savior Lives and Loves me too, the Spirit whispers this to me and tells me it is true, and tells me it is true, and tells me it is true". To know I have a "big brother" looking out for me is very comforting.

Happy Independence Day 2011! Teaching Sincerity to our children allows them to learn the value of Freedom of Speech

Teaching sincerity to children can be a task. One wonders what they actually pick up on. Yesterday, I had an ah-ha moment while I watched a young mother put a dried up felt tip pen to her mouth to see if that would moisten it enough to make it work. She then handed the pen back to her 18 month old daughter, who mimicked her mother's behavior! Her mother immeadiately said, "Oh, honey, you don't want to put that in your mouth."
A common saying that reflects this type of behavior is,

"Monkey see, monkey do."

Wikipedia tells us:

"The saying refers to the learning of a process without an understanding of why it works. Another definition implies the act of mimicry, usually with limited knowledge of the consequences."

Children are always watching and learning from the examples set before them. We need to be diligent and aware of the role we play as teachers. Everyone of us has an influence of good or bad, whether we are grandparents, neighbors, parents, or older siblings. Children look up to and trust their care givers to guide them. They have no other example to look to except those they are with. We are either teaching integrity and sincerity or hypocrisy and dishonesty. Of course, there are many things that adults can do that children cannot or should not do. These are times when it is acceptable and imperative to say no, you cannot do that.

My sister, a social worker, once told me that you should not make a child say "I am sorry" if they do not really feel it. If the child is still angry and feeling resentment, forcing him to say "I am sorry" when he is feeling resentment, teaches insincerity. The child learns that it is ok to feel one way and show another face to the world. He may stuff his resentment, question how he feels. He may even decide, "I must be a bad boy because I don't feel sorry." Instead of immeadiately telling him what to say and do, honor his feelings by taking him aside and asking, "Are you mad at Sally?" and "Why are you mad?" Then, after listening to his response and validating his feelings (because under anger is usually another feeling, like fear or hurt) You may ask "Are you sad that you hurt Sally?" "What do you want to say to her?" Let children come around. Even as adults, we need time to process our own feelings. When we feel hurt or threatened, we often respond defensively, sometimes saying or doing things we later regret. Then, after calming down and thinking it through, we often apologize to the person we hurt. Children need their feelings validated so they can learn how to handle them as they mature. Of course, we don't teach them to always say exactly what they are feeling or thinking. Children are brutally honest and most adults understand this and are not bothered by it. An example is my granddaughter asking why my friend wears a patch over her eye. I allowed her to ask the woman and the woman did not mind explaining it to her. It satisfied my grandduaghter's curiousity and mine too, frankly. As we grow and learn about communication skills, we learn that there is fine line between being tactful and insincere. One needs to learn that sometimes it is wise to not speak at all. At that same time, we honor how we feel and temper our emotions to respond appropriately so as not to offend. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I remember an incident where I said something that I had not intended as an insult, but it was taken that way. I also discovered that I had inherited certain attitudes, but that is for another blog, another day!