Our seed

I am talking about children and in my case, also my grandchildren and so on and so on. After I am gone, there may be many generations to come after me. it is an astounding thought. I am hoping that all of my "seed" will come to Christ and know him. Nephi is explaining to his older brothers what Lehi was telling by way of parable, saying that branches of of the olive tree shall be grafted in. 1 Nephi 15:14 "And at that day shall the remnant of our seed know that they are of the house of Israel, and that they are the covenant people of the Lord; and then shall they know and come to the knowledge of their forefathers, and also to the knowledge of the gospel of their Redeemer, which was ministered unto their fathers by him; wherefore, they shall come to the knowledge of their Redeemer and the very points of his doctrine, that they may know how to come unto him and be saved." I pray for my loved ones who do not yet know Christ as their redeemer. The quote above is found in the Book of Mormon, which I am studying now in an institute class and loving it (https://pathway.lds.org/). The spirit fills my heart and soul as I read, testifying to me of the truth of Nephi's words. I pray that you may read and also be touched as you search, ponder and pray to know if these things are true. Moroni gives us a promise in Moroni 10:3 "Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts. 4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. 5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. 6 And whatsoever thing is good is just and true; wherefore, nothing that is good denieth the Christ, but acknowledgeth that he is. 7 And ye may know that he is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore I would exhort you that ye deny not the power of God; for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow, and forever. I add my "Amen".

Happy Independence Day 2011! Teaching Sincerity to our children allows them to learn the value of Freedom of Speech

Teaching sincerity to children can be a task. One wonders what they actually pick up on. Yesterday, I had an ah-ha moment while I watched a young mother put a dried up felt tip pen to her mouth to see if that would moisten it enough to make it work. She then handed the pen back to her 18 month old daughter, who mimicked her mother's behavior! Her mother immeadiately said, "Oh, honey, you don't want to put that in your mouth."
A common saying that reflects this type of behavior is,

"Monkey see, monkey do."

Wikipedia tells us:

"The saying refers to the learning of a process without an understanding of why it works. Another definition implies the act of mimicry, usually with limited knowledge of the consequences."

Children are always watching and learning from the examples set before them. We need to be diligent and aware of the role we play as teachers. Everyone of us has an influence of good or bad, whether we are grandparents, neighbors, parents, or older siblings. Children look up to and trust their care givers to guide them. They have no other example to look to except those they are with. We are either teaching integrity and sincerity or hypocrisy and dishonesty. Of course, there are many things that adults can do that children cannot or should not do. These are times when it is acceptable and imperative to say no, you cannot do that.

My sister, a social worker, once told me that you should not make a child say "I am sorry" if they do not really feel it. If the child is still angry and feeling resentment, forcing him to say "I am sorry" when he is feeling resentment, teaches insincerity. The child learns that it is ok to feel one way and show another face to the world. He may stuff his resentment, question how he feels. He may even decide, "I must be a bad boy because I don't feel sorry." Instead of immeadiately telling him what to say and do, honor his feelings by taking him aside and asking, "Are you mad at Sally?" and "Why are you mad?" Then, after listening to his response and validating his feelings (because under anger is usually another feeling, like fear or hurt) You may ask "Are you sad that you hurt Sally?" "What do you want to say to her?" Let children come around. Even as adults, we need time to process our own feelings. When we feel hurt or threatened, we often respond defensively, sometimes saying or doing things we later regret. Then, after calming down and thinking it through, we often apologize to the person we hurt. Children need their feelings validated so they can learn how to handle them as they mature. Of course, we don't teach them to always say exactly what they are feeling or thinking. Children are brutally honest and most adults understand this and are not bothered by it. An example is my granddaughter asking why my friend wears a patch over her eye. I allowed her to ask the woman and the woman did not mind explaining it to her. It satisfied my grandduaghter's curiousity and mine too, frankly. As we grow and learn about communication skills, we learn that there is fine line between being tactful and insincere. One needs to learn that sometimes it is wise to not speak at all. At that same time, we honor how we feel and temper our emotions to respond appropriately so as not to offend. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I remember an incident where I said something that I had not intended as an insult, but it was taken that way. I also discovered that I had inherited certain attitudes, but that is for another blog, another day!